Whether you are planning a Bris, Mitzvah, Wedding or Shiva the Mazel Mamas vendors listed below cater to Jewish families and are experienced as well in blended cultures. We are continually expanding our listings. If you would like to be included, or know someone who would, feel free to reach out to us at hello@mazelmamas.com.
Debbie Marks is a multi award winning luxury event designer. She’s also a Mazel Mama who just planned and hosted her eldest daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. Debbie will talk to us about how she reached the top of the event planning industry. From her days as a kid dreaming of owning her own hotel to running events as a teenager in the Jewish youth group to having a major impact in corporate events and eventually launching her own brand Qube Events and Productions specializing in Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and Jewish weddings. Eventually Debbie made a huge name for herself throughout the UK which grew to event decor and styling for some extremely high profile events including the Queen Charlotte’s Ball.
Debbie shared her own event planning process in putting together her eldest daughter’s Bat Mitzvah and the pressure to create something spectacular. Debbie made sure that the meaning of the milestone was shared with all friends and family while still implementing as many quirky touches she could have, including an edible garden.
Debbie says it’s really all about creating special memories and implementing unique elements that leave a lasting impression which can be accomplished even without a huge budget. It’s really about being super creative.
Same holds true in planning a wedding or a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Creativity and quirkiness can be included in a smart and tasteful way for weddings as well. There are no rules that say you have to have a “white wedding.” From the dance floor to table settings, the extraordinary touch is what makes your event special.
Prioritizing on what are the most important elements to you will also help with some of the anxiety about planning your event. Determine what’s really important to you, whether it’s the food, entertainment or decor, choosing your most important elements to you will also help guide your budget and where the bulk of it will be spent.
Another piece of advice that Debbie provides is to be open to listening to the suggestions of the professionals. They’ve seen all and know what works. It doesn’t mean your ideas will be shot down, it just means that for it to be a hit, you might need to be open to bringing your ideas to life in a different way than you first envisioned.
Debbie’s first book is coming out this month and is available through her website www.debbie-marks.com
[01:30] Debbie’s rise to the top of the events planning industry.
[02:26] After University and working in corporate Debbie was very involved with charities and the UJIA – United Jewish Israel Appeal as head of events in the UK.
[03:33] The creation of Qube Events & Productions – Debbie’s own company was formed 12 years ago.
[04:27 ] Jewish Bar Mitzvahs and weddings are the first events that Qube Events & Productions began with and then grew into the largest event styling and decor company in the UK.
[05:15] Pre-pandemic they were doing 300 events a year including high-profile events such as the Queen Charlotte’s Ball.
[06:00] Debbie’s upbringing and her years in Jewish youth group.
[08:45] Planning her own daughter’s Bat Mitzvah was a lot of pressure.
[10:00] Creating quirky elements was the key to make it memorable, including an edible garden.
[11:48] Planning her own event made Debbie realize even more why people need planners.
[14:30] How Bar/Bat Mitzvahs are different between the Us and the UK
[17:20] Did Covid affect any of the planning?
[18:53] What can everyone do to make the biggest impact on their own events.
[21:04] Bringing the meaning of the milestone into the event.
[23:19] Debbie’s first book Extraordinary Parties has just been completed and is available on Amazon from March 31.
[24:28] Dealing with opinionated moms during the event planning process.
[28:26] Debbie will travel for clients that would like the influence of a UK designer that is looking for something really different in their events.
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Wedding professional Joseph Salierno is back! He’s got his finger on the pulse of what’s to come in trends for upcoming weddings and how celebrity engagements might influence the trends to come in the year ahead and how some people might have some very strong feelings about potential polarizing choices.
With engagement season quickly sliding into full on wedding planning, the hype and excitement is here. We’ll talk about the rings, the cakes, the dresses and what will be exciting and creating that “wow” moment for your wedding and if mom will be on board for all of it.
Mamas are clearly opinionated when it comes to weddings and disagreements are bound to pop up even when you least expect it. As a bride, how you handle these potential landmines can possibly set the tone for how you and your partner will deal with your mother throughout the life of your marriage.
Allowing mom to be heard and not dismissed will go a very long way in keeping the peace and your stress level low. Family dynamics are always tricky, so while things are being accomplished we want to make sure that no one is feeling excluded.
If you can allow yourself to roll with how things play out on the day of your wedding, the smallest imperfections will not spiral out of control and will help you to remain calm and in control. It is very common for small things to not go as planned, keeping your expectations on not having an absolute perfect day will create a space for you to truly enjoy your day, your loved ones and the person you are committing your life to.
[01:06] Causes of drama during the wedding planning process.
[01:37] Celebrity wedding planning, and keeping it real for your own wedding.
[03:32] Megan Fox’s engagement ring, and how trends affect upcoming weddings.
[07:16] How royal weddings affect trends in wedding planning.
[08:39] Trends in wedding cakes.
[09:47] How to resolve disagreements when planning a wedding.
[15:19] Who takes the lead in the planning — and in the relationship?
[17:25] Mom’s point of view, picking your battles, and assigning tasks.
[19:10] What can you do when things go wrong? Hint: offer a solution.
[21:54] Take charge of what’s most important to you. Delegate the rest.
If you’re a curvy bride-to-be getting ready to go dress shopping you’re going to want to listen to the conversation we had with the expert of plus size brides, Shafonne Myers. The creator of Pretty Pear Bride, Shafonne gives it to us straight when getting ready to bear it all at the bridal salon.
As a bride, fiancée, daughter and woman, chances are you are going to be doing a lot of people pleasing during this process. The dress is something you will select just for you. It’s something that should fill you with joy. So, spend a bit of time thinking about what types of styles you are most drawn to.
Shafonne is a huge advocate for allowing yourself the freedom to try dresses on that mainstream bridal would deem inappropriate for curvier brides. If you love a mermaid dress, see how it will look! Same for a fit-and-flare or even an elegant sheath dress. Shafonne advises again ruling out a particular style before ever even seeing how it actually looks on you.
Ensuring that the salon will have your particular inspiration style in your size can also prove to be somewhat challenging. This is where mom can come in and be a bride’s biggest advocate!
Shafonne also breaks down the way that the bridal industry sizes their gowns. It’s shocking to many brides to learn that often when trying on bridal gowns the reality is that the cut is much smaller than the sizing for street clothing, causing everyone to have to go up from 2 to 4 sizes!
We also discuss what kind of boundaries may need to be set with your wedding entourage when you go dress shopping so that everyone is on the same page.
Listen in to hear Shafonne break down the best way for both mom and bride to arrive in style and with the least amount of mama drama!
[02:20] Shafonne says before dress shopping, think about yourself and what you like.
[04:00] Don’t rule out a particular style because you are plus size, always try it on.
[06:13] How to ensure a bridal salon will have sample dresses for you to try on.
[08:08] Mom can be your biggest advocate in ensuring the salon will have your desired style in your size to try on.
[10:20] The bridal industry does not use the same sizing as street clothing.
[13:02] The benefits of finding a “plus size only” bridal salon.
[14:10] Setting boundaries with your mom while gown shopping.
[15:48] Making sure everyone is heard.
[19:06] Wedding trends for this year.
[20:17] Which wedding designers are actually size inclusive with all of their styles.
[24:20] What Christian Soriano and other designers are doing right.
[29:02] Budgeting for your wedding gown.
[32:12] Dresses for mother of the bride and mother of the groom.
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It’s that time of the year again. It’s engagement season and there are lots of little boxes with sparkly gifts inside waiting to be given. Have you even thought about where you want to have your wedding? Wondering what the wedding landscape looks like for 2022? Matt Silver, COO of the Crescent Beach Club in New York, joins me to talk about all things weddings.
But first, we chatted about his iconic mom, Rhona Silver. She changed the face of Kosher catering and later purchased and ran the legendary Huntington Townhouse.
Rhona’s attention to detail was incomparable. She was a tough business woman who always believed in giving back to the community. Her memory lives on throughout the industry.
It wasn’t necessarily assumed that Matt would go into the hospitality industry, but he found that he loved the work and he still does. He helps hundreds of families to plan amazing events every single year and he knows that there are some key things to consider when you’re planning and budgeting.
First, your venue will be your largest expense. Many of us already knew that, but did you know that EVERYTHING else will essentially add up to your venue expense. So if you spend $10k on a venue, expect to spend the same on food, music, photography, the dress, etc.
Also, if you’re looking to plan a wedding in 2022, you’ll need to be flexible with the date. There are still a lot of 2020 reschedules on their books and they know it’s similar elsewhere so available dates might be hard to come by. Last but not least, prices are definitely going up. Be prepared to spend more than anticipated on your perfect day!
Listen in to hear all of Matt’s tips and advice for planning and executing your dream event!
[01:11] It’s that special time of year again. Did you get a little box with something sparkly inside?
[02:17] What was it like having Rhona Silver, the queen of catering, as a mom?
[04:09] Was it assumed that Matt would join the hospitality industry?
[05:37] Rona was very involved in the business and valued attention to detail.
[06:59] She was a tough business woman but also a very giving woman. Learn more.
[07:56] What is one thing that engaged couples and their moms should know going into 2022?
[09:55] How to approach your budget?
[11:02] Are things more emotionally charged when mom is involved?
[12:16] Does he find himself being the voice of compromise when planning weddings?
[14:23] How mindset about wedding dates has changed due to the pandemic.
[16:56] What do weddings look like now post-pandemic?
[17:55] Are prices going up for planning and paying for weddings?
[20:27] Learn about the things that people forget to plan appropriately for in their budget.
[22:42] Do they disclose prices before having people tour the property?
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What Jewish mom doesn’t want a say in their kids dating life? Of course, they know best! Jeffrey Kaplan, CEO of Just Kibbitz, saw this as a needed service and made it happen. Listen as he shares more about his online dating site and why it’s perfect for Jewish mamas.
While Jeffrey was in school pursuing his Masters in Entrepreneurship, he had an idea for a dating app for Jewish moms. Not for them to find husbands, but for them to help find dates for their kids.
Essentially, a mom would be able to login, create their own profile, and meet other Jewish moms who were also looking for matches for their kids. They’d get to know each other and learn more about each other’s interests, then decide whether or not to set up their kids.
If everyone agreed, their mamas could then split the cost of the date itself. In fact, when millennials were asked if they’d be amenable to going on a date arranged by their moms, 50% said they’d go. When asked if they’d go if the date were paid for, 92% were all in.
Magic!
Listen in to learn more about Just Kibbitz and channel your inner Yenta. This is what you’ve been waiting for.
[01:08] Welcome Jeffrey Kaplan, CEO of Just Kibbitz.
[02:46] How did the idea for Just Kibbitz come to him?
[04:43] I share some of my own dating and mom stories.
[06:23] Jeffrey explains more about the process itself and why they didn’t want it to be too slick.
[09:47] What kinds of questions do they get about the platform?
[10:44] 50% of millennials would be willing to go on a date set up by their moms.
[12:13] The biggest objections they hear from kids about having their mom arrange dates.
[14:37] Have they heard of any tension between moms if things don’t work out?
[15:12] What kind of success rate do they have going?
[16:50] Did he get a lot of resistance as he was building the business?
[20:34] How their eggplant promo video came about.
[22:02] Where are they most popular?
[23:50] What’s next for Just Kibbitz?
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Welcome to the show, the ultimate Mazel Mama, Renée Taylor. She has dominated the entertainment industry from film, to stage, to television, she’s done it all and seriously made her mark. Listen as she talks about her latest film Tango Shalom, what it takes to build a happy, healthy marriage, and what’s coming up next.
Tango Shalom was truly a labor of love and a project that involved the whole family. It was one of the last projects she got to work on with her husband of 52 years, Joe Bologna. It was written by Joe, their daughter-in-law produced the score, and her son directed it. They also had their family friend, Lainie Kazan co-star.
Unfortunately, before the film made it to screens all over the world, Joe passed away after battling with cancer. Their epic love was marked with lots of laughter, food, and sex. Just ask her! She even wrote an entire book about their experiences.
Renée is a bucket of laughs. Her memories of her time in the business and her comedic lens on life were a joy to hear. If you haven’t already, check out Tango Shalom and the new reboot of The Nanny on HBO Max. Just be sure you’re ready for all the laughs.
[00:55] Welcome Renée Taylor, the main mama.
[02:02] Learn more about Tango Shalom and why they played it in theaters.
[03:51] Was it hard creating a new funny, Jewish mom character?
[05:41] Did she help with the writing of Tango Shalom?
[07:33] Learn more about her relationship with Lainie Kazan.
[08:51] Did she know there was going to be a dedication at the end of the movie?
[10:26] Her advice for having a long and happy marriage.
[12:38] Was it challenging bringing together interfaith families 50 years ago?
[14:37] Renée shares about her wedding to Joe Bologna.
[16:41] How did they approach the big religious milestones?
[18:49] Does Renée cook like a traditional Jewish mother?
[20:02] Hear Renée talk about her time on The Nanny.
[22:37] Who was Sylvia Fine based on?
[24:31] She has no intention to slow down.
[26:04] What’s coming up for Renée?
Wish you could include all of your family in your child’s Simcha? With Mitzvah Stream you can. Born out of a need created due to the pandemic, the founders of Mitzvah Stream have created a solution for every family. Listen as they share more about their streaming service and why it’s needed even when we return to life as normal.
Mitzvah Stream is a Bay Area service that allows family and friends to participate in B’nai Mitzvahs, virtually. It all started when Randi attended a virtual Mitzvah for a friend’s child and she couldn’t see a thing.
It was streaming from someone’s laptop and she didn’t feel as if she was included in the ceremony. She knew there had to be a better way.
She called her brother Ben who has a background in videography and sound and proposed a solution. Thus Mitzvah Stream was born.
When Mitzvah Stream shares your ceremony, they are on site with everything you need including cameras and microphones. They provide multiple angles for an optimal visual experience and make sure that your guests can hear every word. Ben and Randi understand this is an important time in your child’s life, and your friends and family want to share the momentous occasion with you.
They’re sharing all the bumps and bruises they experienced as well as tips and tricks for you to get the most out of your virtual Mitzvah no matter where you are. If you’re planning a B’nai Mitzvah and are in the Bay area you’ll for sure want to check them out. Links are below.
[01:16] The pandemic threw families for a loop when it came to celebrating milestone Jewish events. Mitzvah Stream is the solution!
[02:30] I share my experience as a virtual participant through a Mitzvah Streamed ceremony.
[03:27] How Mitzvah Stream started.
[06:17] What Ben initially thought when Randi approached him with the idea.
[07:44] They typically use Zoom, but this one change makes a huge difference.
[09:54] It seems like the majority of families they’re working with are not affiliated.
[11:21] How are people finding them?
[14:40] Some of the concerns people have had before working with Mitzvah Stream.
[16:23] Should families reach out by a certain time in the planning process?
[19:01] Were there any challenges that they weren’t expecting?
[20:58] Do they interact with the kids during planning at all?
[21:56] What are some of the frequently asked questions they get from families?
[24:18] Have they ever streamed the party itself?
[26:21] Will they stream any other ceremonies?
[29:24] Do they travel?
[31:30] Their advice for mamas looking to add streaming to their child’s ceremony.
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Hanukkah is over, Christmas is right around the corner, and starting in January many people will be schlepping around something more than just those few extra holiday pounds. We’re talking ice, baby! It’s engagement season!
Whether you knew your love was going to pop the question or not, chances are before you put the pics up on social media you’ll want to fill Mom in. She may or may not have some “suggestions” of what should or should not be a part of your big day.
We had a chat with event professional extraordinaire and Director of Sales at Studio 27 Joseph Salierno about what to expect this wedding planning season. Joseph says it really is all going to come down to being prepared to manage your (and your mom’s) expectations.
If you are eager to get your planning under way, then the first thing you’ll need to start looking at is your venue. According to Salierno, this sets the tone for all of the other vendor planning categories coming down the line – which means you’ll also want to start thinking about a date. However, you’ll want to be a bit flexible with the date since right now the availability at most venues may be quite limited, particularly for 2022.
Once you’ve got the range of dates or a season in mind, you’ll be able to start looking at availability and touring venues online, as well as getting a feel for the cost and if it will fall within your budget. The venue will be your largest investment for the wedding, and this will likely also be one of the areas that mom will have strong opinions about, especially if she’s contributing financially.
Since the wedding industry took such a hard hit during the pandemic, thousands of events were pushed out, which caused the backlog of weddings that are now taking place. 2022 is a unique planning year, with many of the hot dates already sold out, so, not only will you want to be flexible with your date, but you also want to be flexible with the day of the week. Salierno says, if you’re not set on a Saturday night, a Sunday might work better for the venue and also work better for you financially. Same goes for time of day: a luncheon will be quite different than a dinner event. You’ll want to really work out what is most important to you.
You might also want to be open to a Thursday evening affair. Joseph says, “Thursday has become the new Friday in our expanded vision of what wedding planning is about. People are making it an expanded weekend: you do a Thursday, you take off Friday, and for some folks that really works. It’s definitely not out of the realm of planning possibilities.” It makes it fun – you’ve taken another day off from work. If that’s good for you, you’re going to find substantial savings on those weekdays. So if you can shift your mindset to “I’m having the exact same experience, just one day earlier,” you can save yourself thousands of dollars that can instead go towards future goals. That’s something Mom may be able to get behind. “Some moms,” says Joseph. “Depends on the mom.”
When it comes to choosing a photographer, one of the most important questions to ask is how the studio covers the wedding, since this can really vary wildly. Will you have one photographer or two? Joseph says that from his perspective, unless it is a super small wedding, you’ll always want two photographers documenting your story because no matter how talented the photographer is, they’ll never be able to capture the event as it’s happening as well as the emotional reactions. When the bride is coming down the aisle, the photographer is not going to want to choose between capturing the bride having her momentous walk and the reaction of her beloved waiting at the altar. That’s really what you want to think about.
The other question you’ll want answered is how many hours you’ll need the photographer for – and if the photographer goes over the agreed-upon number of hours, will there be an overtime situation? You’ll need to decide what points in your day you want documented. Will it include you getting ready? Or when you’re already in your dress and on site with the bridal party? You‘ll want to think about these questions before your meeting.
Once you have those answers, start looking at the visuals and what appeals to you. Ask if the photographer knows about Jewish customs and what is going to happen at certain points. You are not going to want them to miss the ketubah signing because they didn’t know that was part of the tradition. Salierno advises that if they’ve never worked a Jewish or interfaith wedding, let them experience the learning curve at some other event!
On your wedding day, you’ll be doing a lot for your guests and your family. Photography is the one thing that you’ll be doing for yourself, this is what will be capturing your memories, so keep that in mind when selecting your team for documenting your day.
If Mom is coming along with you to all your appointments, chances are she’ll have some expectations, particularly if she’s helping out financially.
What happens when her expectations don’t match those of the happy couple? Well, that’s where an experienced wedding planner can really help out: planners are trained to help keep the peace. An experienced planner is not only the one to deal with all the little details, headaches and issues that come up, they can also deal with all the questions, concerns, suggestions and creative ideas that Mom throws your way. A planner will not only keep the trains running, but will keep it from completely derailing!
Have you ever planned a Jewish wedding? Are you getting ready to need to? Before you get started you’ll want to hear all of Joseph Salierno’s wonderful tips and tricks. He’s the director of sales at Studio 27 and he has heard it all when it comes to weddings.
When it comes down to it, oftentimes, mom and bride have different ideas of what has to happen during a wedding. From the venue to the food to the photographer, expectations may vary.
It’s important for anyone planning a Jewish wedding to keep these differences in mind and verbalize them to all of your vendors!
Once you or your daughter has gotten engaged, first things first is choosing a date. You need to book your venue as soon as possible and without a date or preferred season, this is very difficult.
You can save lots of money if you decide on a day other than Friday or Saturday! Some moms are all about saving the money on the day so that they can spend it elsewhere in the budget. Some moms are set on the day of the week.
This is just a peek at all the amazing tips and advice Joseph shares from his years in the industry. Listen in to hear them all.
[01:56] Welcome Joseph to the show to share all about Jewish weddings.
[02:31] What’s the first thing you should do after you’ve told mom about your engagement?
[03:00] Why having a date in mind is critical to venue shopping.
[04:55] There’s lots of money to be saved if you’re flexible with which day in the week you choose.
[07:37] Mom’s are typically the voice of practicality, but not all will agree to alternative days.
[08:53] Why saving money on day of the week may appeal to the over the top moms.
[09:50] Things to consider when you’re planning in different areas of the country and world.
[12:51] Ways a wedding planner can help keep the peace between mom and bride during the process.
[15:06] How can you find the right photographer for your wedding day?
[17:06] What happens when the bride’s aesthetic doesn’t mesh with mom’s aesthetic?
[18:50] When meeting with the photographer, is in-studio important?
[20:37] How much information should be given in an initial conversation for an interfaith wedding?
[22:34] What questions should families ask of their potential photographer?
[25:32] Should all the cultural milestones be mentioned in the initial interview?
[26:29] Learn different ways mom may bring questions and changes to the choice of photographer.
[28:13] Your photographer choice is all about you rather than for your guests.
[29:12] The couple and moms usually have differences in expectations for deliverables. Learn more.
Okay, so the holidays are not exactly an event, but we do think that the amount of planning, shopping and stress that it causes does entitle us to give it a fair mention.
Am I right?
There is no denying that the holiday frenzy is very easy to get caught up in. The lights, the gifts, the food!
When you are in an interfaith household, the holidays will also come with their own unique challenges and possibly double the shpilkes, particularly if your kids are at the age where they start asking questions. Santa questions, tree questions, family questions. Lots of questions.
Whether you are fully embracing the festive spirit in your home or not, chances are questions at some point will come up regarding Santa’s existence — particularly if he doesn’t make a stop at your home.
We spoke to Robbin McManne, Parenting Coach, founder of Parenting For Connection and author of The Yelling Cure for some tips and advice on the holiday mishegas.
If you have kids it’s always better to be prepared, knowing that questions are going to come. Considering in advance how you might address their curiosity will go a long way toward preventing them from seeing the terror in your eyes.
Robbin advises that acknowledging their feelings is very important. Let your kids know that you understand it is hard and possibly disappointing for them. Be the sounding board for your children without judging them or criticizing them for how they feel. Listening to them and providing empathy will go a long way toward building trust in your relationship.
Empathy doesn’t mean that you have to agree with how they feel, just that you see their perspective. It doesn’t mean you have to fix anything for them. Validation might be all they need from you.
McManne says it’s okay to ask your children what they need as long as you are prepared for the answers. You can ask them how you can support them or what they need from you. The answer you receive might be “I need presents” or it could be “nothing, I just wanted to let you know.” The bottom line is that they could come back with anything, but you still want to have the conversation and talk to them about how they are feeling. It’s important to them, so it should be important to you.
This may not be the best time for a historical lesson on religion. If your kids are expressing some disappointment or sadness, a lecture will not make them feel better.
It is, however, a great time to talk about family traditions. Maybe you’ve got some family heirlooms that only make appearances at the holidays. It may be a good time to go into the kitchen and whip up a holiday favorite together. McManne recommends taking your time. It’s not an emergency, and you don’t have to rush it.
Get the whole family in on the conversation and allow everyone in the house to voice an opinion about how the holiday can be meaningful to them.
Only you and your spouse should be making decisions on how you and your children will celebrate the holidays. This means that it might mean setting boundaries with your in-laws or extended family. Nobody else needs to be invited to make these family decisions. It’s up to you to decide how you celebrate the holidays, so do what works best for you.
We all have family members who trigger us and maybe even make us feel disrespected and judged. Maybe they like your kids, maybe they don’t, maybe you’re worried about their opinion, maybe their kids are perfect. Or not.
All parents have their standards regarding what’s okay and what’s not okay. This is the standard by which I live by, and, you know, that’s sort of the greens fees in order to be in a relationship with me. When someone has pushed the boundary with you, you have to be willing (if you can, and I know it’s easier said than done) to say, no, actually that’s not okay with me.
Unfortunately, as humans, we’re all different and conflict is inevitable. And so we are faced with these people who we may or may not have good relationships with. Robbin suggests going into a situation knowing who’s going to be there, and if there is a history of them triggering you. If there is, there’s an opportunity for you to grow and evolve, because what would life be like for you if this person no longer triggered you and their power was gone? Would you feel more free? Would it feel a lot less stressful?
One suggestion that McManne makes is to set an intention to not let them make you feel so small. Don’t let their comments upset you and to try visualize letting it literally roll off your back. Setting an intention is power because it’s where your thoughts go, and your words and actions follow. So take a second to center yourself, be in charge of the energy you bring to the situation and set your intention.
Notice how you are feeling and what you are saying to yourself. McManne says just notice it. You don’t have to judge it or criticize it. Just notice it. Notice what your internal dialogue is and then see if you can possibly see it from the other person’s point of view: how might they be interpreting the situation? What is going on for them? Maybe they’re stressed; maybe what they’re doing is putting their own pain on you. You may be able to see people in a whole different light and say, okay, you know what, it’s not even about me. And that’s actually the secret: it’s never about you. It’s always about the other person and where they are in their own mind and in their own state.
The holidays are a beautiful, special time of year. If you are able to manage expectations and prepare for some honest discussions then they won’t be looked at as a problem that needs to be solved. They can be about creating meaningful memories to look back on fondly.
